My children and I sat down to watch a movie together. The youngest was excited because she realized that the movie was about a book her sister had read to her. She was thrilled at the thought of finally seeing the images of this book brought to life on our television screen. The movie Sense and Sensibility was one of my favorites from childhood, I pressed play and after 20 minutes my children complained that they didn’t understand what was going on. These comments confused me since my oldest had read the book. But after asking them a few questions it dawned on me they just didn’t get it. They didn’t grasp the concept of why a woman after the death of her husband was not allowed to inherit his estate. It made no sense to them that they the family was being displaced out of their home and forced to leave many of their belongings behind. I tried to explain to them during this time period women were not allowed the same rights that women today enjoy. They seemed satisfied by my explanation and continued to watch the movie. After a little while my youngest again said “I don’t get it, why is it so important for the women to get married”. I after paused the movie and told her “that’s just how it was in that period of time”. I tried to explain that women were expected to marry young and hopefully a man with money in order to insure a good life for them. Reluctantly she said okay and continued to watch.

While sitting at the table I thought to myself all the freedoms we as women enjoy in our current society. I thought about the many rights that have been fought for and won that allow us to vote, to have careers, have an education and many others I can not think to list since they are freedoms I have grown up with and just expect to be available to me. But as I thought about how far we as women have come, my mind drifted to the thought of my female friends and how they live their lives. Now I am not so sure anymore if we are so different then the characters in that movie. To be honest to hear one of my friends say they hope to marry well, have children and stay home with them is a not so uncommon thing. I know many women who even today do not start to live their lives until they are married. Most do no own property, home, or have anything financially substantial until they are partnered and even then the home is normally not in their name. We as women have come so far to make things equal and better and to have more choices. When it is all said and done many of them chose to not exercise these rights. Some how we are just modern versions of our past; caught up in a society that judges us on our beauty more so then our brains. Waiting for that male figure to step in to the picture and in some way validate us.

Let’s be real for a second, when you hear about a woman at the age of 35 that has never been married, do you celebrate her? Or do you quietly pity her for you lack of luck in finding a husband? How often have you encountered a lady home owner without a Mr.? When is the last time you have encouraged a woman for her choice not to have children? When you speak to your daughter do you discuss how her life will be once she is married?  I don’t know all the answers but I do think we as a society of modern women need to give some thought of how we view ourselves.

FYI : Sense and Sensibility is a novel by Jane Austen if you have not read it please do or at least see the movie.